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Changes to the family unit -

Changes to the family unit due to divorce or separation aren't easy for all involved, especially children. However, you aren't alone; it is estimated that 40% of children in the United States, for instance, don't live with two married biological parents.

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Types of co-parenting: Conflicted -

With conflicted co-parenting, there is poor communication between the parents. They may argue frequently and be unable to reach agreements about their child's needs or daily routine.

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Types of co-parenting: Parallel -

Parallel co-parenting sees parents operate independently with little communication, cooperation, or conflict with each other. Household routines and parenting rules are often different, and any similarities are unintentional, causing a lack of consistency for the child.

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Types of co-parenting: Cooperative -

Cooperative co-parenting happens when parents regularly communicate, share information about their child's needs and progress, and coordinate schedules to ensure the child spends quality time with both parents.

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Visitation schedule -

Work together to create a visitation schedule. It should cover weekdays, weekends, and special events, ensuring each parent spends quality time with the child.

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Daily routine -

To maintain consistency across households, parents should discuss the child's routine, featuring extracurricular activities, bedtime, screen time, and nutrition.

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Education -

Both parents should agree on where and how their child is educated. Paying school fees, supervising homework, attending parent-teacher conferences, and other responsibilities should be shared.

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Medical needs -

Healthy co-parenting involves coordinating consent for medical treatments and communicating any medical issues.

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Finances -

Parents should discuss and arrange finances that keep the child's best interests in mind. It may include one parent making child support payments.

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Regular communication -

Maintain regular communication with your ex and any other caregivers in the child's life. Share relevant updates about your child's development, school, medical issues, and routine.

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Work out a co-parenting plan -

You may wish to work out a co-parenting plan that includes deciding who will attend medical appointments and where the child will stay during holidays.

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Be flexible -

Keep room for flexibility and cooperate with your former partner, as your co-parenting plan may change due to your child's needs or unforeseen events.

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Center the child -

Keep your child the focus. Avoid making decisions based on personal feelings towards the other parent.

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Respect parenting styles -

Unless your former partner's parenting style is harming your child, respect their approaches and let them bond with the child on their own terms.

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Make room for stepparents -

Your ex may find a new partner, and they may take on the role of a stepparent. Try to accept them in your child's life instead of resenting or diminishing their presence.

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Keep interactions cordial -

Keep interactions with your ex-partner or their family members respectful and cordial, especially in front of your child.

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Co-parenting apps -

Consider using co-parenting apps for an easy way to manage schedules, share information, and communicate.

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Quality time -

Make sure you spend quality time with your child when they are with you. Plan fun activities or create meaningful traditions unique to the relationship with your child.

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Loneliness -

You may feel a sense of loss or loneliness when your child isn't with you. Take this time to relax and do something you enjoy.

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Don't disrupt your child's routine -

Ensure your child's routine stays consistent across households, caregivers, and occasions. A consistent routine provides stability for your child.

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Don't make your child feel guilty -

Avoid making your child feel guilty about loving or wanting to spend time with their other parent. Your child should have a healthy relationship with each parent.

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Don't undermine your former partner -

Respecting each other's opinions will positively influence your child's development. Don't undermine or disrespect your former partner in front of your child, and discuss any issues in private.

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Encourage open dialogue with your child -

Encourage your child to express their thoughts and feelings about the co-parenting situation, and listen to their concerns.

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Stay informed on legal aspects -

Understand the legal aspects of co-parenting, including custody laws, visitation rights, and court orders.

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Practice empathy -

Try to understand your former partner's perspective, and be empathetic to their feelings.

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Avoid negative talk -

Speaking ill of your co-parent to your child can cause confusion and emotional distress. Express any frustrations to friends, family, or your former partner if need be, but not to your child.

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Celebrate milestones together -

If possible, celebrate important milestones like graduations or sports events to show unity.

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Seek professional guidance -

If challenges arise, consider seeking advice from a therapist or counselor specializing in co-parenting.

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Prioritize your own well-being -

Taking care of your mental and emotional health will help you be a more effective co-parent. Engage in self-care activities and seek professional support when needed.

Sources: (Verywell Mind) (HelpGuide.org) (Raising Children Network)

See also: Useful tips for divorcing parents

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