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Take some time out -

Before you concern yourself with expressing your anger, it’s best to take some time to cool off. Nothing good ever came from lashing out at someone in the heat of the moment.

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Take some time out -

Next time you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel angry, remove yourself from the situation. Go for a brisk walk or run to calm your mind and diffuse any tension.

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Take some time out -

With your mind calmer, it will be easier to identify exactly why you feel angry and therefore help you express your feelings more clearly to the other person.

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Clarify your feelings -

Before you confront someone about feeling angry, you should first try to work out why their behavior troubles you. Next time it happens, why not document your feelings in a journal?

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Clarify your feelings -

Reading back that journal entry will help you identify patterns and triggers. Speaking to a third party, perhaps a friend or a relative, can also help you gain perspective.

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Clarify your feelings -

You might even find that documenting your feelings helps you identify other emotions that underlie your anger. If you do find other emotions such as fear or resentment, share those too.

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Be direct -

When it comes to confronting someone who made you angry, it is important to communicate in a direct but respectful way. Beating around the bush will not help.

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Be direct -

Do not wait for someone to notice you are upset. Instead, open the conversation with a phrase like, “I wanted to let you know that your words the other day hurt me quite a bit.”

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Be direct -

Be specific about the exact behavior that upset you and the way that it made you feel. Addressing the problem sooner rather than later should help you with this.

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Use "I" statements -

Try to communicate your feelings to the other person using phrases that start with “I.” This will provoke less feelings of being blamed in the other person.

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Use "I" statements -

It may well be that the other person messed up, but they will respond better to your complaint if you frame it by the way that it made you feel.

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Use "I" statements -

This one may be easier said than done, but do your best to stay calm and collected. People always respond better during a calm interaction, and you won’t cause any further damage.

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Listen -

As tempting as it may be to rant on and on, it is important that you also give the other person a chance to speak. Once you have explained yourself clearly, open the floor.

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Listen -

Be sure to listen properly to the other person and take their thoughts and feelings into consideration. Be patient and try to make as much eye contact as possible.

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Listen -

Listening to the other person may help you reach a mutual understanding or, even better, uncover a misunderstanding that led to your feelings getting hurt in the first place.

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Empathize -

It is important to recognize your angry feelings, and they are perfectly valid. However, it is also important to remember that you can feel angry and empathize at the same time.

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Empathize -

Really understanding the other person’s perspective and perhaps the reason for why they behaved in the way they did may help you to feel better.

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Empathize -

For example, learning that your partner snapped at you and said something hurtful because they are stressed out at work may help you take their words less personally.

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Compromise -

As with many human interactions, resolving conflict involves a little compromise. In order to compromise properly, you have to be open and ready to cooperate.

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Compromise -

This may be difficult in a situation in which you feel very angry, but it’s extremely important if you want to repair the relationship and ensure it continues.

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Compromise -

Try to find a solution that works for you both, and ensure it really does work for you both. You don’t want any lingering feelings of anger that could lead to resentment.

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Take a break -

Take a break. It is all very well taking these tips into consideration, but sometimes the conversation will still become heated. If it does, don’t be afraid to take a step back.

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Take a break -

If you find yourself in a situation that is escalating, remove yourself from it for a while and come back to it when you can express yourself clearly and constructively.

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Take a break -

Try using words like, “I need to take some time and space to cool off. Could we come back to this in a while?”

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Avoid alcohol -

If you are someone who enjoys a beer or glass of wine, it can be tempting to try and quell feelings of anger with a drink or two.

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Avoid alcohol -

It is important to avoid this, however, as it will not help. Being drunk overpowers our emotions and makes it difficult for us to make rational decisions.

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Avoid alcohol -

Alcohol makes people more aggressive, and this effect is likely to be magnified if you were already angry when sober. You may find yourself getting offended at the slightest thing.

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Seek professional help -

If you continue to struggle with expressing your anger in a healthy way, there is absolutely no shame in consulting a mental health professional.

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Seek professional help -

A therapist or counsellor will help you find healthy expressions or outlets for your anger and prevent it from becoming a bigger issue.

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Seek professional help - It is particularly important to seek professional help if your anger issues are affecting your quality of life, not least because they can be a symptom of other conditions such as depression or chronic stress.

Sources: (WikiHow) (Health Shots)

See also: PTSD: What is post-traumatic stress disorder?

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